additional friends are not free. Primatologists call at least some of the things that happen on social networks grooming. In the wild, grooming is time-consuming and here computerisation certainly helps. But keeping track of who to groom—and why—demands quite a bit of mental computation.

Lately, I've been feeling the stress of 'grooming' my social networks, primarily because I don't have much time to waste in the black hole of Facebook or to schedule yet another social hour lunchtime. Part of it is related to other priorities in my life (teaching, freelance, thesis!), but in general I feel like I have too many peripheral friends that require incessant grooming. [Disclaimer: if you're reading this, you're not periphery]. Remember the good old days of getting a message on your answering machine and taking a few days (maybe even weeks) to return it? Time moved more slowly, expectations were lower, and people seemed to be much more forgiving. These days, if I don't respond to a Facebook message fast enough, I get an email from the same friend– perhaps even followed by a phone call and/or text message. These days I regret my social networks and want to remove all versions of my online self. It leaves me wondering: how much is too much? can I strike a balance? instead of an "Easy" button, can I click "Return to sender?" As our networks expand, will expectations become more realistic? Or are those of us who are ultra-connected hit a breaking point and return entirely to face-to-face networks? Maybe face-to-face is the new online. Now that I could groom.